Strong?
by Sparkly Star
Summary: When Abby finally escapes the ugly life she found herself in, she returns home to North Carolina to find her old friends. Will they be able to give her the extra strength she needs to defeat her demons? Chap 6 added!
1. The Beginning

By the time she arrived back at the apartment it was deserted. She had been walking around the streets of the neighbourhood for the last two hours giving them chance to get out and thinking things over, but by now three in the morning had struck and she longed to go back. As she slowly walked, dragging her feet toward the apartment block she scanned the building for the right one, 'Good the lights are off' she thought to herself, hopefully the answer meaning they'd gone. Three hours previous Abby was doing the same walk home, but once getting in discovered her boyfriend in bed with some women. She'd stormed out but then only to be followed by her boyfriend who then slapped her for over reacting. After leaving the apartment it was time to make some major decisions in her life: did she really want to be living the life she was? Beaten day after day, drugs, ambulances to the E.R at least once a month, everything she had in her life she wanted to burn and destroy. Plus the so-called relationship her and her boyfriends did had was heading no where. Abby was just plain sick of having to cover up to hide bruises and scars day after day, she was sick of having no money, she was sick of having to depend on him. Why should she have to depend on someone who pushes her around for fun? Leaves aching memories all over her skin, sleeps around with other women? There relationship hadn't always been that bad though, they'd been together for three years now, at least the first year had some happier times. But for the second two, she found herself naively waiting around for him to get is act together. While out on her walk she made a pact with herself that tonight was the night. She was going to pack her bags and leave, something that had been toying with her mind for months now, tonight was the final straw, she finally gave up on any hope that things would only get better.

She arrived up at there apartment and reluctantly turned the key in the lock, dreading they might still be there. Going in, she looked around, scanning everywhere carefully, she could tell that nothing had been touched, but at the same time everything to her seemed different. She put no lights on; all she needed were the tiny faint beams of moonlight that shone into the apartment through small breakages in the blanketed sky of clouds. Quickly she moved on into the bedroom, standing in the doorway she looked around the darkened room, she felt sick as she looked at the unmade bed while the lingering smell of aftershave and sex filled the room. Once again nothing had been moved, it was only the bed that had been touched, everything else seemed the same but only now with a dirty vial of seediness draped over her possessions. Eventually the power of what the room was doing to her was just too much; she could no longer stand the thoughts that were going though her head. "Focus!" she yelled out loud angrily to herself as she quickly ran to the closet. She rummaged around the floor then pulled out a large neatly folded up rucksack, it was the one she had used years ago when she backpacked around the States. As soon as she laid her hands on it beautiful, long forgotten memories came seeping back into her brain. Tears slowly one by one began streaming from her eyes as she angrily began tossing piles of clothes into the bag. As she did so she cursed herself for what she had become, since living in New York in by now a tedious Rock n' Roll lifestyle she'd totally dismissed any thoughts or recollections of anything prior to the last three years. Her life before had totally been forgotten, her friends, her family, none of those thing existed in her mind any more. She thought of them as she stuffed more clothes, cds and a few others of her personal possessions into her bag. She tried not to think of anyone, she just wanted to get out of New York first then she could start thinking about mending her bridges, she didn't want anything distracting her from the task in hand, she didn't want anything to ruin her concentration of getting away.

Abby stuffed her things down in the bag then suddenly stopped to look around, that was it there wasn't anything else she wanted. After a reminiscing moment she snapped to and began to do up her bag, then made a bee line for her dresser drawers, where she kept her passport and a secret stash of money she was saving for today, at one point she'd thought about blowing it all thinking this day would never come, but finally it had. She rummaged around until she'd relocated it all and that was it. She had everything; she was now ready to go. Looking around for one more last time she then picked up a jacket that's she'd retrieved and had dumped next to her bag, she put it on then took hold of her bag and swung it onto her shoulder and then left, never to going to that apartment again.

After leaving the apartment the next step was to get a taxi to the airport, getting a taxi in Queens at night was an easy task it was at the airport that she knew was going to be the difficult bit. It was all very well for her to up and leave, but where was she to go to? That was what was going to take some time. She arrived at La Guardia Airport in record time; she thanked the driver and paid him then proceeded to enter the airport. Standing in the main part or the airport she looked around and tried to get her bearings, it had been years since she'd been there but everything was still how she remembered it, not as busy though, maybe due to what time it was, she looked at a large digital clock hanging above her head, 4:07 blinked at her brightly in red. Noticing the large departure board she went over and began to look at the departing destinations. The only place where she knew anyone was in North Carolina all of her family and friends, if she still had any, where situated all over the southern state. Most of her family were in Fayetteville and then most of her friends were either in Raleigh or in towns just out of. But her family would never take her in; a family argument had occurred when she was a teenager, Abby had dropped out of school early to travel but her parents were dead set against the idea and told her if she left not to come back- so she didn't. A few years later when Abby had moved back to North Carolina with a friend in Sanford, she tried to call them but they didn't want to know. Maybe that friend in Stanford would be her best bet, Amy, she thought to herself before realising she probably wouldn't even be there, she then thought of someone who would though. Jeff Hardy, she'd met him through Amy when she'd first moved there. He lived in Cameron, a small town situated near to Raleigh, he had to be there, besides it was his family town she knew that he'd never move away.

There it was decided and without another though she went and brought her ticket to Raleigh-Durham International Airport then had planned to make her own way to Cameron once she'd landed. She felt nervous to be seeing her friends again, she didn't even know if she had any anymore but still, all she could do was go and find out.


	2. Stranger on your doorstep

It was early morning by the time she landed and left the airport, it had taken her at least an hour just to get through customs but finally she was out, now all she had to was hitch hike her way to Cameron. Something that was a walk in the park to her, she must have hitched around most of America when she'd travelled.

It took a few hours to finally arrive, in total about four different people had taken her part of the way, but finally she'd done it. She got herself dropped off just on the outskirts of Cameron and knew from there, it was then only a few minutes walk. Suddenly before she knew it she was standing outside a large house that she knew so well. Abby stood on the deserted road for a while just staring up at the house, it seemed exactly the same as it had when she'd left it. It looked like time had stood still whilst she'd been away. Snapping herself out of her nostalgic thoughts she looked to her wrist at the time, it had just past nine. Looking up at the house once more, she sighed, she'd never felt so nervous in her life. But the only thing to do was to push it as much aside as she could, she took in a deep breath and then slowly let it out as she began to walk the familiar walk towards the front door. The short ten second walk to the door seemed to be longer than she remembered, her angst made it seem like ten minutes. She stood a waited for a second or two and then with her eyes closed she rand the door bell. Her heart started beating faster as she heard someone thunder down the stairs towards her.

Abby heard the door unlock then watched it slowly swing open to reveal a tall, sternly built man, his personality was expresses all over is body; his hair in different shades of blue and green, his beard shaved into patterns.

"Abby…" the man gasped after a while, Abby was the last person he expected to see, he had to look at her twice just to make sure he wasn't imagining things.

"Hi Jeff," she said to him, feeling like her heart was going to beat right out of her chest and onto the floor. "Long time no see…" she said to him coyly as she dropped her heavy bag on the floor next to her.

"Abby…" he said again, pure shock written all over his face. "What the hell are you doing here?" Jeff asked. But Abby didn't reply, her words just wouldn't come out. Jeff watched as tears started rolling from her eyes and down her cheeks, she had tried her hardest for this not to happen, she didn't want to cry she was tired from it, but it just couldn't be helped. Without saying a word he stepped towards her out into the morning air and took her in his arms. It felt like she was at home again, being in Jeff's arms had always felt like a safe place, a safe place that she hadn't thought about in years. "Here come on, lets go inside." He told her as he picked up her bag and led her into his house.

Jeff led her into the familiar kitchen, Abby noticed along the way that things were different and had been changed, but still, the layout was still the same; everything started to come back to her. In the kitchen Abby wiped her wet face with her sleeve as she sat down at the kitchen table. Jeff brought over a box of tissues and pace them down in front of her. Jeff then sat down in the chair next to her and took hold of her hand that was resting on the table.

"So, where've you been?" he eventually asked her casually, watching her wipe away her tears with a tissue now rather than her sleeve with her free hand.

"New York…"

"Oh yeah, ya know I think I read in the papers about the telephone shortage in New York." He replied to her sarcastically, squeezing her hand a couple of times to make sure she knew he was joking.

"I'm so sorry Jeff…" she said, as a new set of tears were released.

"You look really tired, have you travelled all night?"

"All morning," she replied thankful to him for moving the subject on. "I go out of Raleigh airport at about six then hitched to Cameron straight from there."

"You came straight here?" Jeff asked her sounding quite surprised.

"This is the only place I thought I could come too," she sobbed. "I'm so sorry for turning up like this Jeff."

"I must admit Abs you were the last person I was expecting to see when I opened the door. You being there isn't a bad thing though," he told her with a smile on his face, "What do you have to be sorry about?"

"I haven't been in touch for like the last three years, you must be at least a little irate with me!"

"I know, well there is that, but I never once decided to cut you out of my life Abby. Although that is kind of what you've done here." He said with a cheeky grin on his face. "Look Abby, I'm not gonna lie to you, me, Matt and Ames were pretty pissed that you just up and left but we all know what your like, you're a free spirit. I knew you'd be in touch if you were in trouble or needed us or something."

"Well I'm not a free spirit anymore…" she said to him coldly. "It seems like that has all be taken away now."

Jeff leaned back on his chair and looked at her, he admitted to himself straight away that's she'd changed. Not just the obvious like her accent and the way she looked but also inside, her entire essence had changed; Jeff could see straight away that she was thinking in a different way to how she had before.

"What's happened Abby?" he asked her quietly, leaning in again as he held on to her hand even tighter, "You can tell me you know, you can tell me anything. I'm not gonna judge you or anything."

"I know you won't…"

"Has something bad happened Abby? Are you in trouble?" he asked, getting more and more concerned.

She looked at him with hardly any expression on her face "It's nothing I can't handle myself though."

"What do you mean by it's nothing? There must be something then for you to be able to say that is nothing…"

"You never give up do ya Hardy," she told him, trying to joke, although it was pretty hard to joke with no expression in your voice. "I just got myself into a bad relationship, and I suppose something I found hard to get out of. I've done it now though haven't I? It was great when we first started out, but then I just turn into a mess. It's fine though now, he's in New York and I'm here, safe, with you."

"How do you mean though, 'turned into a mess'?"

"God Jeff you really don't wanna know…"

"I do, I wouldn't be asking otherwise would I?"

"Got my self a rock star life didn't I," she told him in a sigh, "Jackass boyfriend knocking me about, drugs, alcohol, the whole lot. Everything just seemed to deteriorate in front of my eyes. Things went from bad to worst and then continued to get worst every day since I left."

"You were taking drugs?" Jeff asked her

"Yeah, little bit of coke here and there… got my self off it in the end though, worst road I ever went down, that's the thing I regret most every day."

"What about your boyfriend? He beat you?"

"All the time…"

"Abby why didn't you just come home!"

"Don't worry about it Jeff…"

"Well what do you expect me to think? And drugs?"

"I'm sorry." She said solemnly.

"Abby I can't believe this; I can't believe that you of all people adopted this lifestyle. What were you thinking? Is this that Mark guy, who you met when we wrestled at Madison Square Garden?"

Jeff had got it in one, when Abby lived with Amy every so often she'd travel with Matt, Amy and Jeff when they were on the road. It jus so happened that the time they were in New York Abby befriended a guy named Mark, and over the few days they were they got quite close to him and eventually moved over there to be with him.

"It wasn't like this at the beginning you know. He wasn't always like that towards me."

"No he just lured you in to fucking false pretences!" Jeff replied, standing sharply up from where he was sitting. Jeff was now very angry, banging and throwing things about, "I can't believe I met this guy and didn't realise he was some idiot junkie…"

"He wasn't back then," she said quickly, almost defending him. "Besides Jeff you weren't to know, no one could have guessed it would have turned out this way…"

"Yeah but I didn't do a very good job of taking care of you did I?"

"Jeff please don't be mad, please, this isn't your fault!" she yelled getting up to join him, she got right up in front of him and touched his face with her right hand. "Thankyou…" she whispered into his ear as they hugged.

"For what?" he asked confused as he pulled away from he slightly as he questioned her.

"For caring! I thought I was just gonna get a door slammed in my face or something."

"Don't be stupid you know that I'd never do something to like that, anyway shall we take your stuff upstairs?" he asked leaving the kitchen to go and retrieve her bag that he'd dumped in the hall way. "You may as well unpack."

"Your letting me stay here?" she asked him sounding a little surprise.

"Yeah of course, where else were you gonna stay?" he laughed as he picked up the bag.

"What about Beth, won't she mind?" she asked before looking around the hall way at the missing pictures of Jeff with his girlfriend. "Where is Beth anyway?"

"Me and Beth broke up…" he said quietly as he started up the stairs.

"What? Really, when did this happen?" she asked following behind him.

"It's been just over a year now."

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry Jeff"

"Why? What have you got to be sorry about?" he asked as he dumped her bag on the bed in the spare bedroom.

"I should have been here for you; I should have been here with you whilst you have to go through all of that. All that time I was away, I was so selfish I didn't even think about you or what you might have been going through! I hate myself for this Jeff, I really do. I'm such a bitch and then there's you who's so perfect and have taken me in even after what I've…" Abby couldn't finish, Jeff had gently put his hand over her mouth prompting her to stop talking. She melted as he smiled at her.

"Abby, just shut up… I'll leave you alone for a bit so you can sort yourself out or what ever. Maybe get a bit of rest, you must be exhausted. I'm gonna phone Matt and Amy, how would you feel about seeing them tonight?"

Abby sat down on the bed and looked up at him; she was frightened of what they'd say to her. "Maybe we should wait a while…" she suggested nervously.

"Don't be stupid what are we gonna do, hide you when they come round? They're gonna be so happy your back. Abby listen…" he said sitting down next to her. "They aren't mad at you, I promise, there both gonna be so existed! If not I'll protect ya." She said nudging her in a flirty manor. "Don't worry, I'll hold your hand all night if I have too." She said showing her that smile again.

Abby threw herself back on the bed and sighed "I suppose so…"

"You're gonna have to see them eventually, hadn't it might as well be sooner rather than later?" he asked her, now standing at the door about to leave.

"If you insist…" she said, still lying down.

"I do! Now get some sleep…" Jeff demanded before disappearing out of sight.


	3. The reunion

Abby lay in bed as she checked the time on her watch, it was 3:20, she had been asleep for about four hours. She had insisted to herself that Jeff was wrong about her needing to sleep, but as usual Jeff hadn't been wrong at all. But now Abby was wide awake and thinking over the events of the last 24 hours, she felt bad that Jeff was being so nice and comforting towards her, Abby felt like she just didn't deserve it, she felt like such a bitch towards her friends and had taken into account that bridges would need to be worked hard at before they could be made. She never in a million years thought everything could just fall back into place the way it was… Jeff was naive if that was the way he was thinking. She'd explained the basic layout of events that had happened to her, but there was no way in hell that that was it; Jeff didn't have a clue… There were still scars to be explained, smoking habits plus the amount of alcohol she was used to consuming in a day. There were tons of things still to be talked about and at the moment Jeff didn't seem to see that.

Suddenly a light smell of frying bacon filled her nose, Abby sat up and got out of her bed and pulled on her sweatshirt to cover her body, she had too many things to hide from him, well at the moment at least. Dressed in her baggy grey sweatpants and a long sleeved sweat shirt she felt assured with her self that she was fully hidden. She then headed down stairs and found Jeff in the kitchen preparing some food.

"Hey…" she greeted quietly.

"Oh you're up? I wanted to bring this up to you." He told her in a saddened tone, looking hurt. "I knew you'd be hungry."

"Jeff you don't have to do this," she moaned as she helped herself to a bottle of water from the refrigerator. "You're spoiling me Jeff Hardy and I'm the last person who deserves it! I should be doing this for you!"

"Just eat this…" he said totally ignoring what she'd said as he placed a plate on the breakfast bar in front of him.

Abby walked over and got up onto the bar stool, she looked at the food in front of her unenthusiastically, "You didn't have to do this," she told him quietly still looking down at the bacon and eggs.

"Eat!" he said watching her reluctant face.

Not wanting to offend him she began to slowly eat although she wasn't hungry, plus she didn't want to strike up any questions about supposed eating habits or lack of she may have. "So did you call them?" she asked trying not to sound to anxious about the whole issue.

"Yeah, I've spoken to Amy. At first I don't think she believed me at first that you were back." He told her watching to make sure she was eating. "She's really excited though, she can't wait to see you she's really looking forward to it…"

"To what?"

"Amy and Matt are gonna come round tonight, they'll be here at about eight."

"Tonight?" she asked.

"Yeah, why is that a problem?"

"Yeah there is a problem, I'm shit scared Jeff I don't wanna do this!" she stated, her voice getting louder and louder.

"I know you are Abby, but this is something you have to do. Just try to forget about it for now and then when it does come round then I'm gonna be right here next to you."

"Your way to good to me Hardy…" she said before taking another bite of food, "Way to good."

Abby finished off her food then got up out of her seat to go outside. She pulled a packet of cigarettes out of her pocket and looked at Jeff, looking at her. She just shrugged and carried on to the kitchen door and then outside. Jeff followed behind her, closing the door behind him.

"Smoking now then huh?" he asked as they both sat down at the floor and lent against the house. Abby didn't reply, she ignored him and lit one up to begin smoking it.

She took a quick drag and inhaled "I was real nervous about coming back you know,"

"You were?"

"I wish you could understand the extent of how low I am right now Jeff… There's things I really wanna talk to you about but just don't think I can bring my self to. I hit rock bottom when I was in New York and I don't think I'm to far away from that place right now." Jeff just listened intently, "I got so messed up that I barely made it through, but being here Jeff doesn't mean that I wanna become dependent on you or anything, I think I can do this on my own."

He watched her smoke "Abby your more of an idiot than I thought if your gonna believe that, if your saying you went as far down as you did then your not gonna be able to do this on your own. How can you even think you can? Why put yourself through that when I'm right here next to you? I can help you Abby…"

"I don't want your help Jeff,"

"Okay' okay, why don't I tell you about what's been going on with me then since you've been away." He said changing the subject. Upsetting her was the last thing he wanted, she was going to talk to him about this in her own time she was going to have to feel more confident about doing so, something that defiantly wouldn't be achieve if she was just going to get upset all the time.

She took another drag then smiled, "I'd like that…"

"Okay here goes then, this year has been pretty shit, lost my whole passion for wrestling and got into a whole lot of trouble at work. They thought I was on drugs, kind of ironic huh?" he said as he nudged her. "So I got released, can you believe it? No longer part of the WWE? It freaked me out a bit at first I guess, but I've got used to it. I'm workin' no some music and stuff now. Me and Beth splitting up I suppose hit me hard, drifting apart from her hit me hard but I got over it, eventually."

Abby realised that she missed out on a hell of a lot, she hadn't been around when Jeff or her other friends had needed her most. Amy had broken her neck and had to have surgery, Matt and Jeff had fallen out, so many life changing events had happened to her friends while she'd been away.

They both sat outside for the rest of the afternoon talking about how there lives had changed. Jeff's stories had also made Abby open up a little more, she went into depth about Mark, her boyfriend but didn't give much away. Abby still had heaps of things to tell Jeff but I was a huge task just to get her to talk to him. He tried her best to talk things out of her and she tried her best to tell him but it was no use, Abby just wasn't ready to tell him some things yet.

"Abs we better go inside, it's getting late…" Jeff announced looking at his watch.

A sudden sweep of fear and anxiety swept over her as she knew what was coming, Amy and Matt would be arriving soon. "You got anything to drink?" she asked him, both heading inside.

"Yeah, you mean alcohol? I think I've got some vodka…"

"Great can I have some…?"

"Yeah, sure," he replied deep in thought, "I get it." In the kitchen he reached into one of the top cupboards and pulled out a three quarters filled bottle of vodka. He placed it on the side then retrieved a glass.

"Don't you want any?" she asked, pouring herself a generous measure.

"No thanks, it a little early for me…" he told her as he watched carefully what she was doing.

Abby had polished off half the bottle by the time eight o clock came. She sat herself down once she had showered and changed in the kitchen and waited patiently for them to arrive. Jeff joined her once he had changed and held onto her hand gently.

"They just must be running a little late." He said noticing Abby looking at the clock, "Don't worry, there gonna be here… oh wait, I can hear Matt's car, they're here now."

Abby's stomach jumped right up into her chest and the back again, she stood up from where she was sitting and followed Jeff slowly towards the front door, she stood back and waited for the knock so that he could open it. Suddenly, seconds later there it was, it was almost as if in slow motion as Jeff opened the door all she could do was watch. And there they were, the both of them standing side by side, both with the mouths practically hanging open. Tears began to fall from Abby's eyes as she they looked at each other.

"Oh my God," Amy whispered loudly, almost in tears herself, "It's really you Abby." She said a little louder as she came inside the house. With no more words need the girls walked to each other, falling into a hug. They held each other for a few second then let go, now it was Matt's turn. Matt stepped towards her and grabbed on to her tightly, all to be heard were muffled sobs from Abby.

"Glad to have you back Abs." at said to her as they continued to hug. Abby's eyes lit up brightly as she heard his words, the acceptance from them made her feel incredible, as if a huge weight had been lifted.

From then on the reunion went well, the atmosphere in the room felt as though nothing had happened. Everything seemed to be going well until Amy followed Jeff into the kitchen to voice her concerns about Abby's drinking. During the past hour or so Abby managed to consume; several more glasses of vodka plus a coupe of glasses of red wine, all three of them had noticed Abby getting more and more drunk by the second, and were concerned about it.

"Jeff whats going on here?" Amy asked,"why is she back? I don't understand why now? I'm not complaining that she's back or anything it just she seems to be in a mess Jeff. Have you seen her? Just look at the colour of her skin, how thin she looks, the fact that she's drank more than me, you and Matt put together."

"You think I can't see that Amy, she's got herself into a mess but she's insisting that she doesn't want any help. I'm trying my hardest with her. It's a start that she's just here though isn't it?"

"What's a start?" Abby slurred suddenly interrupted.

"Nothing sweetie come back in here with me…" Matt said trying to pull her back. "Come on Abs."

"I think I'd better put her to bed…" Amy suggested as she walked over to Abby and took hold of her hand.

"She's changed," Matt stated to his brother once Amy and Abby had gotten up stairs.

"I know, its weird isn't it. Now she's back it seems like she was never gone, the amount she's changed though just seems weird to think she was here with us last week. She just needs time I suppose, from the bits of pieces she's been telling me she's been through one hell of a lot"

"Guys I'm really worried about her." Amy announces as she joined them back in the kitchen. "Jeff I don't think she's even come close to telling you the extent of how much she was pushed around by this guy."

"What do you mean Amy?" Matt asked her as he put his arm around her.

"I just helped her get undressed, her body's fucked guys, dark bruises, nasty ones at that, scars scratches, plus two pretty huge stitched up wrist scars to match."

"What do you mean wrist scars?"

"I mean it obvious she's slit her wrists Jeff. Go and see for yourself."

"No, "he replied with denial, "Abby would have told me something like that, I don't believe you, they must just be from something else."

"Jeff the evidence is up there!" she told him beginning to get a little angry.

"Look guys, we all just need to calm down a bit, this situations tense for all of us," Matt said jumping in to what was about to turn in to full argument. "Bro, Amy knows what she saw, what else is it likely to be?"

Jeff knew they wee right he just didn't want to admit it to himself. Everything was a mess and no one knew what to do for the best. They'd just have to wait until Abby was ready to explain for herself rather than them jumping to conclusions.


	4. Questions

Abby didn't wake until late that next day, where as Jeff had been up and about early, he hadn't slept at all hardly during the night after the events of the so-called 'reunion', Abby was all that was going through his mind. He felt hurt and upset that she hadn't told him about what looks like she tried to kill herself. Something like that that above all was more important than drugs and alcohol, he could believe that Abby, a girl he'd known for years had tried to do this to herself, it just didn't seem right. He was stuck with whether or not to confront her about it, he didn't really want to say anything and would prefer for her to confide in him and tell him what had happened, but with Abby the way she was what really were there chances of Abby telling him with out her being prompted to?

"How's your head feeling this morning?" he asked her. Jeff was at the bottom of the stairs just about to go out for his morning run as Abby came down. She patted him gently on the head as she walked past where he was sitting.

"My head? Its fine," she replied to him plainly as if for there to be no reason why her head should hurt. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason," he told her feeling confused as he stood up from the bottom step where he'd been sitting.

"Good go get dressed then; you can come out for a run with me"

"Hey just hold on a minute there Hardy, I never agreed to any running." She laughed, walking out if the hallway and into the living room, Jeff followed her and stood in the doorway watching her turn on the T.V.

"Come on Abs don't you wanna get some fresh air, it' would do you some good to get out."

"Listen to me Jeff; I, don't, want, to, go… Get it?" she said to him firmly but oozing with sarcasm.

"Abby…"

"Jeff I said no!" she suddenly yelled loudly before turning up the volume on the T.V. Giving in once again to her defeat Jeff gave up and walked away with out a word. As soon as he left Abby hit her self in the head hard for the way she acted. She did actually feel badly for speaking to him like that but what ya gonna do when someone keeps pushing you on and on like that?

After thinking about the way she had acted towards him, by the time Jeff got back Abby was ready to apologise, biting Jeff's head off was the last thing she wanted to do.

"Abby without jumping off the handle," he said sarcastically, "What the hell is going on with you?" he said confrontationally once he had returned. Jeff was angry with her, he was frustrated with trying his best to help her- he couldn't help with out her co-operating.

"Nothing…" she replied sheepishly.

"I don't believe you. Is this the way is gonna be from now on? Me on the receiving end of your blow ups?" he asked her, almost in a yell.

"Jeff it was hardly a blow up, it was just the fact that you were pushing me!" she said storming off outside to have a smoke.

"Yeah I'm not just talking about today Abby, you've only been here for just over a day and it seems as if all your anger is being directed at me!" he yelled, hot on her trail.

She looked at him as he slumped out in a chair next to her in the yard "I'm sorry Jeff I really am…I'm sorry if that's how you feel, you know I'm in a weird place right now."

"I just don't see why you're acting like this, so hostile toward me. You've changed so much; I used to know everything about you…"

"Well there are a lot of things you don't know about me now…" she replied bitterly, she could even look at him any more.

"Well yeah, I noticed."

Abby turned her head sharply to look at him, wondering what that comment meant, "And what is that supposed to mean?"

Although it was only a couple of hours ago that Jeff had decided to himself not to say anything to Abby about what Amy had seen, he thought this was maybe the perfect time to get it out of her. He was only doing it out of concern, not to use against her or anything; Jeff would never do that to anyone, especially Abby. He was just worried about his friend, alarmed about what she had been through and was unsettled by the way she was acting.

"I don't know Abby, you tell me…"

"Well it sounds like there's something in particular that you want me to talk about." She said as she took the last drag of her cigarette and inhaled it before stubbing it out. "Come on then, if there's something on your mind Jeff then just say it." She snapped angrily as she stared at him intensely.

"Fine!" he snapped, by now just as aggravated as she was. "Amy had to put you to bed last night, yeah you were that wasted that you had to have help, she had to help you up the stairs, help you in bed and help you undress… you see where I' going with this?"

"I've got some idea…" she replied awkwardly.

"Do you wanna finish then?" he asked, still snapping, too caught up in the moment that this was going to be a sensitive topic and there he was being as insensitive as he could.

"No…"

"Well are you gonna give us any explanation on why your hiding your body from us, I know you are Abby."

She just looked at him in shock, she knew they were having a heated argument but how could he talk to her like that towards a subject like this one. She was surprised at Jeff for confronting the topic in this way, she knew she would have to tell them about her scars eventually, but she wanted to do it in her own time, not like this.

"What do you mean by explanation?" she croaked.

"You know exactly what I mean; the bruises, scratches, the scars?"

"He beat me up…"

"How many times?"

Abby just shrugged there was no way she could count the amount of times he had. Some were bad, some that ended in a trip to the hospital and some which were good, which to her meant just a slap- yes a slap in comparison to the rest was good. Her heart was breaking as Jeff spoke to her like this and the fact she had to tell him about it was killing her. One of the reasons being plain old embarrassment- leaving her best friends in North Carolina to go to New York ending up going down a road heading directly six feet underground was the most stupid mistake of Abby's life, naturally it would cause some embarrassment.

Abby could feel the tears welling up in her eyes as they had this conversation, Jeff was so angry with her and was demand she talked to him. She honestly didn't know what to say though, which was beginning to make her angry too. She thought for a short while, thinking of anything she could use to explain it. Suddenly she stood up, crossed over her arms and pulled her shirt up over her head, leaving her in just her bra. Jeff almost gasped as he was the site of her, she looked worst than how Amy had described.

"Well where to start…" she started bitterly. "Well due to lack of money I had a lack of food, my weight is right down. The darker of the bruises are the more recent ones, probably from just before I left…" as she told him, she indicated with her hands, using herself as if a story board. "These fainter ones are a few days older and are fixing now. "She turned around and pointed t the scars on her back. "Those scars are from when I was pushed through the glass doors and onto our balcony at our apartment, the other scratched as probably from various scuffles," she yelled at him, giving him exactly what he had wanted. By now floods of tears were falling from her eyes. "And these!" she yelled holding up her bare wrists, "These beauties are from when I tried to kill myself at the beginning of this year! So that is then Jeff got everything you wanted there? Any questions?"

Jeff shook his head quietly, he watched her in disbelief as she fell to the floor crying hysterically. He got up and rushed over to her to take her in his arms trying to attempt to restrain her anger. Jeff was truly speechless as he rocked her gently back and forth, his brain just wouldn't comprehend with what Abby had just confessed to him, he couldn't believe what she had lived through.

"I'm so proud of you for getting through his Abby, you were so brave to come here." He whispered loudly in her ear as he still rocked her, holding on to her as tightly as he could. "You've past the hardest part, you've just gotta mend yourself now. And I promise you Abby with all of my heart, I'm going to be with you every step of the way. You're not on your own now any more Abby."


	5. First Step

Two weeks had passed since the day which showed Jeff the true, the two weeks with an attempt to mend had just flown by. The whole starting process of mending someone was difficult, no body knew where was best to start. Jeff was trying his hardest to encourage her but it wasn't going well at all. At the beginning of the week time was being put down to be the best healer for Abby, but by now they were starting to think otherwise. Abby was depressed and was a drunk, every night Abby would consume vast amounts of vodka in a attempt to stop feeling, the feelings she had inside then she was sober were killing her. She was becoming even more distant from everyone and with a desire to be alone she would spend most of her time locked in her room complete with a carton of cigarettes and a bottle of vodka. When she did leave her room and come into human contact, it was Jeff she spent most of her time with, after all she was living in the same house as him and Amy and Matt were on the road most of the time. Shannon and a couple others of Jeff's friend would occasionally come round to offer support but Abby would only want to be with Jeff. Due to the time the two of them had spend together they were becoming more close, Jeff no longer took anger out on her anymore and allowed himself to be around when Abby needed someone to blame. They worked well together as a unit and got on, Abby would even sometime seem a lot better when she was around him, but the littlest things would set her back, judging by the frame of mind she'd be in Jeff would have to watch what he'd say. It was difficult living like this for Jeff, being on egg shells but it was the only way he cold watch over her, after realising the scars on Abby's wrists he was worried that feeling the way she was that she might try something like that again.

"Abby do you think maybe we should get a doctor for you to see?" Jeff asked her a tactfully as he could as they ate dinner together.

"A shrink you mean? No fucking way…" she protested before taking a bite of her pasta.

"Abs you wanna get better don't you?"

"I'm not going to a shrink Jeff."

"Okay no shrink, well how about we give you parents a call?"

"My parents? No chance, they don't wanna know about me, they made it perfectly clear last time I tried that they didn't want anything at all to do with me."

"Maybe if you just explained…"

"Jeff I said no…" she said firmly.

"I want you to get better Abby, you know that's all I want don't ya?" he asked her stopping his eating. "I'm trying my hardest here to help you…"

"I know, I'm trying hard to…"

"Let's go to see a doctor, at least just to get some advice then…please Abby."

Abby thought about it for a while, she really didn't want to go and see anyone but looking at the pain in Jeff's eyes was breaking her heart, she knew what he was doing for her, he'd given up a lot. Maybe going to see a doctor was the least she could do.

"Okay," she said looking at him as he ate his food.

"Okay what?"

"I'll go and see a doctor… will you come with me though?"

Jeff smiled at her and got up out of his seat. He hugged her tightly, "Yes I'll come with you, you know I will Abby."

TWO DAYS LATER.

Abby and Jeff arrived at the surgery hand in hand, she was nervous, she'd never tried to get professional help before, she had been advised it when she was in hospital getting her wrists stitched up but had declined. She held onto Jeff's hand extra tight as he spoke to the receptionist for her.

"Jeff, I think I'll go in on my own." She told him as they both sat down side by side in the hectic waiting room.

"Really you think you can do that?" he asked her.

"I'd like to try." She told him smiling as he smiled back. She knew that this was making him happy and knew that it was going to be the first proper step into recovering, but thinking about it she realised that it was something she would have to do on her own.

"Miss Ryan!" a nurse yelled a few minutes later.

"I guess that's me," she said apprehensively as she stood up.

"You'll be fine, I'm so proud of you Abby. I'll be right here when you come out, okay?" he said to her in an attempt to calm her down a little.

"Ahhhh Miss Abby Ryan?" the male doctor asked as she entered.

"Yes…" she replied.

"So what seems to be the problem?" he asked her, not taking his head away from his forms.

"I'm depressed…" she told him bluntly.

The doctor looked up from his writing and blinked and the young women in front of him, "How long have you felt this way?" he asked her more friendly this time.

"Months now I think…"

"Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"

"No not at all..."

"Do you sleep well?" he asked scribbling things down in her file.

"No not all most nights."

"Ah ha I see, what about eating habits?"

"Don't find my self very hungry most of the time."

"Any drug abuse? Either current or previous?"

"Yes… for a year and a half. I've been clean though now for eleven months."

"Any elaboration on the drugs?" she asked, still soothing, not judging.

"Cocaine…"

"What about any habits now?"

"Smoke and drink is all."

"Right, and how about and suicide attempts?"

She didn't answer she showed him her wrists instead.

"Right then Abby, what I'm going to do is put you on a strong course of anti- depressants, also I'm going to give you a number of a counsellor who I deeply advise you to get in touch with. It seems you have a very strong case of depression Abby and are going to be need a lot of attention." He told her as wrote out her prescription and then scribbled down a number on a separate piece of paper. "Now I strongly advise you to phone this number Abby." He handed her the paper and the prescription note. "I'll need you to come back and see me once the course is finished."

Abby thanked the doctor and then left his office to go and find Jeff in the waiting room.


	6. I love her

I've made this whole chapter to do with Jeff. I thought it was about time I did some writing about him. Hope you enjoy, this is where the romance will start coming out!

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"I'm so please for her that she's making some progress, I thought at one point that she didn't even want to get better. I thought she might have just given up. So how many times has she actually been to see this woman?" Matt asked him in Jeff's garage. Jeff had been cleaning his car when Matt had come round. Matt had just arrived home from a P.P.V weekend in Florida and had come to Jeff's house to catch up and see how Abby was doing.

"It was her fifth meeting last night; they seem to be going okay she comes home from them sounding quite positive although she doesn't tell me anything about them."

"That's alright though, being more positive and everything, that's really good news." Matt said slapping his brother on the back.

"We've had some really good days together recently man, it's been like old times. We were eating dinner last night and it was so weird. It was as if we just totally forgot about everything that's going on." Jeff told his brother smiling as she continued to polish up his car. "We went to the movies together, I took her out to dinner, and she's really trying hard with this.

"That's great, she's finally getting better!"

"Actually man, this is for you and Amy as well… next week Abby wants to go out. This counsellor woman is trying to encourager her to go out one night, let her hair down a bit and stuff and be with her friends. She wants us all to go to this new rock club opening in Raleigh next Wednesday. Think you and Ames would be able to make it?"

"Oh yeah man, defiantly."

"Shannon's coming and so is Adam, he phoned from Florida the other day to see how Abby was getting on. Oh and Shane is coming to."

"Yeah bro that should be really good." Matt replied throwing a ball up high in the air and then catching it again. "What about her drinking though Jeff, is it really wise to be going out to a club when the amount she'd drinking isn't getting any better?"

"I know that's what I thought but it really is what she wants and right now what Abby wants I'm gonna give her. I was watching her the other day in the yard with one of the dogs; she looked like she'd never been away. Everything about her was as it should be, peaceful and calm nothing dark about her at all. She looked beautiful Matt."

"Jeffro what the hell are you saying? You're getting feelings for this girl or somethin'?"

"I dunno man; I think there already there…" he told his brother nervously as he looked down at his feet. "Things have been like they used to Matt! It feels like she's never been out of my life"

"Yeah but she has been hasn't she, even though things deem like they used to doesn't mean that they are. She's not better yet; she's still depressed, just because she's seeing some shrink doesn't mean she better all of a sudden."

"What the hell has that got to do with anything?" Jeff snapped angrily

"Jeff I know she's our friend, hell she like our best friend bro but Abby's a drunk and she's suffering from deep depression. You can go out with her man, she's a mess, you can't get involved with that sort of thing."

"Matt I can't believe you just said that! How can you think that about her?"

"Jeff you don't know what she's been though, she's not in the same league as you any more. I know how we all feel about her man but seriously bro I'm not gonna let you date an ex junkie!"

"Matt shut the fuck up! You've got no right saying that!" Jeff yelled getting more and more angry with his brother. "Matt I think you should leave, I don't want Abby to hear you stay those things about her.

"I'm going, just be careful little bro, I don't want you getting hurt…" Matt said as he began to walk away.

"I think I'm in love with her Matt…" Jeff yelled to him, making his brother stop dead in his tracks. "I always have loved her and I always will… from the very first time I met her it was as if my heart skipped a beat…"

"Why didn't you tell me or any one else this before?" Matt asked coming back inside the garage with his brother. The two of the leaned against the hood of Jeff's car. Jeff turned his head to look at his brother and just shrugged.

"I don't know what to do, I just wanna help her."

"You are helping her bro, you are…"

"I just want walk over to her and take her in my arms, hold on to her so tight ya know? I wanna protect her from everything; I hate myself for letting her get into this mess…"

"Hey hang on a minute Jeff; you can't blame this on yourself…"

"Blame what on your self?" Abby suddenly asked from behind them. Both brothers shot round to find her standing behind them.

"Abby how long have you been there for, I thought you were asleep?" Jeff asked in a panic.

"I just came in here, what's up with you? Why are you all jumpy?" Abby was totally oblivious to their conversation.

"We were just talking about going out next week…" Matt quickly butted in, "Jeff tells me that you think you're ready to go out and stuff?" Matt asked her as he moved over from where he was leaning to make space for her to join them. Abby sat herself down in between the Hardy brothers and let out a sigh.

"What was that for?" Jeff asked her taking hold of her hand but trying to keep it out of Matt's view.

"I dunno I'm just a little nervous about it I suppose…"

"Don't worry Abs it's gonna be fine, hey we're all gonna be there for ya, what could possibly go wrong?" Matt said to her as cheerily as he could.


End file.
